


because i deserve it

by glassmotion



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Anal Play, M/M, Smut, porn with a tiny touch of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:41:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26345788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glassmotion/pseuds/glassmotion
Summary: “I thought about you when I listened to music,” he said, running the tip of his nose along Frank’s. “I thought about you when I drove into the night.” He kissed Frank, hot and slow. “I thought about you when I prayed.” He trailed kisses up Frank’s jaw, back into his ear. “And I really,reallythought about you when I was alone.”
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Comments: 1
Kudos: 58





	because i deserve it

Frank looked miserable. He wished he had thought of a hoodie, or a hat. Tiny flicks of snow came with the wind and got stuck on his buzz cut. He tucked his gloved hands under his armpits and jogged in place, trying to warm up. He had been outside for like, one minute, and his nose was about to get frostbitten and fall off his face. “This weather is bullshit,” he mumbled against his scarf. Gerard stood by him, looking unbothered in his huge stupid parka, his hair escaping from under the hood and shining bright red into the night. He didn’t answer, though. Simply licked his lips and smiled at Frank before taking another drag of his cigarette. “Come on, give me some,” Frank said, stepping forward so Gerard could put the cigarette in his mouth.

“You should’ve worn a hoodie,” Gerard said, watching Frank hold the cigarette with trembling lips. “Or a hat.”

“Yeah, well,” Frank said in his crankiest voice. “Where the fuck is that bus?” He looked around, trying to find their ride, the whole band and crew looking exhausted after just landing from a nine hour flight in the middle of the fucking night. He smoked without using his hands, the ember tip reflecting on his eyes, smoke running out of his mouth crazy fast with the sharp wind. 

“Give me that,” Gerard said when they saw the bus coming their way. He dragged quickly once, blew away the smoke, and then took a deeper drag, which he only let go of after wrapping a hand around Frank’s neck and slowly blowing it into his mouth. Frank took it in and closed his eyes when he got a wet kiss. 

“Come on, you’ll freeze your balls out,” Gerard said, hopping into the bus before it even finished parking. Frank blew out the smoke and licked his lips. God damn it. He was shivering, but not from the weather. 

*

Frank felt his luck was turning after he got on the bus. As usual, no one wanted the front seats on the second tier, given the huge glass windshield that let in way too much light for their sleepy asses to be comfortable. But Frank was known for his ability to fall asleep _anywhere_ \- and so he had the entire front of the bus for himself, and he laid spread out on the seats, staring out the windshield. He had tucked himself by the waist with a seatbelt to make sure he wouldn’t fly out the glass in case of an accident, the heating ventilators were right in front of him, the sky was dark and the moon shone bright. He’d be alright for the _three to four hour drive, depending on the metro traffic_. He’d wake up with the sun shining warm and cozy against his skin and everything would be better. He fell asleep with a smile on his face. 

He didn’t, though. Wake up to the sun shining bright. He woke up after what felt like way too little time, his eyes still burning when he opened them and saw the same night sky. He had a tingle thunder down under for what seemed to be no reason, until he felt it, on his right thumb, the smoothe, wet textures of what he knew to be Gerard’s mouth. 

Frank didn’t make a sound when he lowered his eyes and saw Gerard kneeling on the floor in front of him. Gerard smiled around Frank’s thumb, his teeth - his stupid tiny teeth Frank missed so much - biting down slightly before he pouted his lips and went back to sucking. Gerard was wearing a worn Black Sabbath shirt and a wolf plush hat with paws Frank barely had time to register before he had to swallow back a moan, when Gerard twirled his tongue around his digit and then went into a rhythmic bobbing. 

Well, that hadn’t happened in a while. There was Gerard’s choice, their fight, Frank’s shattered heart, and many months of awkward civilized coexistence. But since they started this tour, they had inevitably fallen into old patterns, their friendship and chemistry back to where it had never really left. Unsupervised on the road, they were themselves again. It felt good. Too good. 

“Jesus, Gerard, what are you doing,” Frank whispered, and he meant it to sound like a protest, but it just came out as a plea.

Still, Gerard didn’t answer. He held Frank’s hand and kept sucking on his thumb, hollowing his cheeks, eyes dead on Frank’s, his lips around inked skin, messy red hair falling on flushed cheekbones, and that was it. That was fucking it. Whatever that was, they were gonna talk about it later. Not now, nope. Frank just allowed himself to feel it, watching Gerard suck on his thumb with hooded eyes, every lap of his tongue reflecting up Frank’s arm, through his chest and down to his cock. He bit down on his own lip, wondering vaguely if they would get caught, and feeling thrilled with it.

The roar of the bus engine managed to muffle Frank’s heavy breath, and it wasn’t long before Gerard left his thumb-sucking spot on the floor to lie on top of Frank and kiss him, and _God_. It felt like Paradise. It felt like home. It felt like they hadn’t touched each other in years - well, they hadn’t, _fuck_ it’d been too long - and feeling the soft skin on Gerard’s lower back was the best thing in the whole entire world. 

Frank wasn’t really thinking when he grabbed Gerard’s ass through his jeans and pulled him close, grinding against him, making his eyes shoot open as he gasped. “Shh, baby,” Frank whispered, holding the back of Gerard’s head with a firm grip on his hair to bring him in for more kissing. The familiar taste, the feel of his stubble, the waving of his hips, Frank had missed Gerard so damn much. “I’ve missed you so damn much,” Frank said against his lips, “Please never leave me again.”

“I never did,” Gerard replied in a whisper, hot above his ear, “I couldn’t if I tried.” He kissed the skin on Frank’s neck, on the _jinx removal_ tattoo he’d gotten from when he married his best friend, into a life Gerard envied. “I thought about you all the time, Frankie,” he confessed, “all the damn time.”

Frank bit back a smile, his eyes closed, and although his heart was thumping fast and strong, so were other things. “All the time?” he asked, his voice falling into a breath when Gerard bit on his ear. He felt Gerard’s teeth against his skin when he smiled back, and the answer came in a nod that turned into more kissing, and Frank unbuckled the seatbelt so he could sit up and hold Gerard against him, straddling his legs. “When did you think about me?”

Gerard smiled and pulled back a little. He framed Frank’s face with his hands and let his eyes wander over his olive skin before talking. “I thought about you when I listened to music,” he said, running the tip of his nose along Frank’s. “I thought about you when I drove into the night.” He kissed Frank, hot and slow. “I thought about you when I prayed.” He trailed kisses up Frank’s jaw, back into his ear. “And I really, _really_ thought about you when I was alone.”

Frank hissed out a breath and felt his hand involuntarily tighten its grip on Gerard’s hips, his nails digging down his now sharp ends, and all he could say was, “Mm?”

“Mhmm, yeah,” Gerard replied, falling back into the persona he only got when he was really, really hungry for it. “I thought about kissing you Frankie,” he said, actually kissing him, mouth open and jaw slack, as if he was illustrating his words. “I thought about how hard you get when I do this,” he said as he dropped one hand between them, biting back a pleased smile with the reaction he got from Frank. “I thought about how you taste, hot and heavy on my tongue, and how you growl low on your chest right before you come.”

“Jesus,” Frank muffled around Gerard’s neck, biting down hard, pulling his hair a little too tightly. “Jesus, Gerard.”

“And I thought about how much I love it when you’re angry,” he went on, his forehead pressed against Frank’s. “I want you to fuck me, Frankie. Fuck me so good.”

“Oh God, I’m gonna die,” Frank said, feeling torn between indulging Gerard right on the spot and melting away he felt so hot. He settled for a midterm and kissed the other man as hard as he could without hurting them, his cock throbbing so hard in his pants he was afraid he would faint. Thankfully, Gerard knew him well and unzipped his pants, holding him with a skilled hand that got him panting in a second, and his arms went limp as he moaned into Gerard’s smiling lips. 

“I want you to fuck me hard, Frankie,” he continued, his fist moving fast, “Hard and angry, because I deserve it. I want you to choke me and show me that you own me.” He wrapped his own hand around Frank’s neck, gripping him just enough. “I want you to bend me over and remind me how to be good for you. I want you to fuck my mouth with your big cock and make me taste you when you come.”

And, well, Gerard was a real bastard, because he knew exactly what that was going to get him, and it did - Frank came hot on his fingers, pumped ever so gently, as the fingers on his neck released pressure. He was still panting when Gerard looked at his own slick hand and shoved his own thumb into his mouth, sucking it dry. 

The bus came to a halt and it took them a moment to realize they’d stopped at a gas station. The sun was rising. People started to wake up, mumbling like zombies in a caffeine withdrawal. 

Gerard stood up and walked away, leaving Frank to tuck his dick back into his pants. He looked back and sucked on his other fingers as he closed the toilette door. 

* 

Frank closed the door behind him and snuck his key card into his pocket. As he turned right to walk down the hall to the hotel elevator, Gerard was waiting for him. “Coffee?” he offered, handing over a tall cup with Frank’s name on it, holding onto his own cup. 

“Thanks,” Frank said, taking a sip. They had barely had any time to shower and change before they had to head back out, on their way to some interview panel or something. They walked towards the elevator and Gerard pressed the button, like nothing had happened earlier that day. “So,” Frank said. 

“So,” Gerard echoed with a grin. He was wearing that stupid hat again.

Frank glared at him for a second. “You piece of shit,” he smiled. “You’re unbelievable.”

“You love me.” Gerard walked his way until he was in front of Frank, and his grin fell as he approached. He held Frank’s face up by the chin and kissed him, slowly, deeply, sucking on his tongue in the slowest, sexiest way ever, until they heard the elevator approaching and Gerard pulled back. “I can’t wait to have you in me again, Frankie,” he whispered before stepping aside. The elevator dinged softly and the doors slid open, revealing a mother with two small children who really got in Frank’s way of saying or doing anything at all after they stepped into the lift. 

Gerard was grinning again. Frank cursed his entire existence. “I know what you’re doing,” he said as the doors slid shut. 

Gerard smiled wider. “Good.”

*

“I think that’s it, man”, Frank said, handing the phone and ear buds back to Ray, who was perched on the stool to his right. “We just have to find someone decent to do the drum track, now.” 

“Fucking tell me about it,” Ray mumbled, putting his phone away. “I have had it with that shit.”

Frank looked at him, wondering if he was really pissed, moody from exhaustion or if he was just being sympathetic towards his buddy. They didn’t say Bob’s name out loud a lot, like it hurt if they did, because that's how it was. For Frank, at least. The pang of guilt twisted in his chest every time. He missed his big brother and his big mouth, standing up for Frank when everyone else just played dead and turned a blind eye. “Yeah me too.”

Everyone was on their mark, Mikey brooding over his coffee on the end of the row, an empty stool between him and Frank. The lights were set, the mics were on, the script was ready and Gerard wasn’t there. He had excused himself right before they started, saying he would be back in a second, but it had already been like, ten minutes. Frank couldn’t help but wonder what was it that he was doing. And given the fact that he had been teasing Frank the whole day - _“That table over there looks the perfect height for you to bend me over”_ , - he couldn’t help but let his mind wonder places that got him inappropriately flushed. 

“There he is,” he heard the producer say a second before Gerard showed up and sat carefully on the stool. His face was bright red and he was sweating under his plush hat. He made himself comfortable and looked at Frank, who just stared back at him, and Gerard slipped him a tiny piece of paper. 

It was some kind of instructions manual, and it took Frank a moment to realize what it was for. The small line drawing was subtle enough to pass by unnoticed, but the shape made it clear enough - and explained Gerard sitting down so carefully on his stool. 

Frank looked at him, baffled. Gerard’s grin grew wider. Frank arched his eyebrows, like, _Really?_ , and Gerard smiled, the very tip of his tongue poking through his teeth, looking proud. Frank shook his head, _You are not_ , to which Gerard nodded, _Yes I am_. Frank’s jaw clenched, _You have got to be fucking kidding me_ , and Gerard just licked his own flushed lips as he stared at Frank’s, which echoed in places he didn’t expect, and then the interview started. 

Frank crossed his legs and his arms, the tiny paper tightly clenched in his hand, and tried hard to look like he wasn’t thinking about what he was thinking about. 

*

The vegan sandwich Frank was munching on was probably the best thing he’d eaten since he left home. Under the cool winter sun, he sat on the hotel varanda, and he managed to catch Jamia on a phone call before he started his lunch. He had this sudden urge to go home, and the tour had barely even started. He’d been in a mood, an edgy annoyance pushing down on his chest, but he felt better after talking to his wife. When he told her about Gerard being all over him again, she had just said, “Told you he would come around,” and moved on to talk about what the mechanic had said about Frank’s car which she had taken for a check-up. 

The thing was, Frank was bitter. He had had a hard fucking time settling back on his feet after what felt like death. He cried and drank himself to sleep, trashed around onstage, wrote a thousand songs and felt his face burning in shame for having his heart torn out, stomped on and exposed. He felt like a fool, and things had gotten better, alright - he had the most amazing family he could ever ask for. But then came the recording, the constant presence of that loud tireless ghoul, Bob leaving and Gerard starving himself in a never-ending excuse of _“It’s nothing, I’m just jogging a little_ ”. Yeah jogging. Frank was pissed. He was really fucking mad at Gerard, even if that didn’t kill whatever it is they had. 

And now, as usual, Gerard had decided he wanted back in, but this time was different. There had been a rupture. It wasn’t like his comings and goings from all those years, his fibble act changing up every time he saw his dad, changing back again any time he felt sad and vulnerable or just plain horny. They were not kids anymore, and Frank realized that he resented all of what had happened. 

He lit up a cigarette and finished his iced tea, going through his own feelings and thoughts, trying to finally process everything that had been happening since that night. Gerard was playing dirty, and it wasn’t exactly cute making Frank hard in public all the time as if they were teenagers. 

Not that he didn’t like it at all, though. He did. It was thrilling. And it was Gerard. His lips, his hands, his love. Frank couldn’t say no to that. In fact, as he went over the events from the bus, he decided to say yes to what Gerard said he wanted. _Hard and angry, because I deserve it_.

Frank got his phone and sped dialed with one hand, the other one still holding his smoke, and his call was picked up after one ring. “Hey, man, how long do we have?”

_“About three hours before leaving for sound check, dude, get some rest.”_

“Cool, thanks,” Frank said and put his phone down. 

Three hours suited him just fine.   
*

“No, that won’t do,” Gerard said absentmindedly, holding the phone to his ear with his shoulder as his hands ruffled his own hair. He looked good, right? He thought he looked good. Frank liked that shirt on him. “Can you get a background check on her? Just to make sure, yeah. Yeah. And parents of the former - yeah, exactly.”

There was a soft knock on the door. It was a mild _tap, tap_ , but it was enough to send Gerard’s heart racing. He felt himself blush instantly. Half of it was because of the thrill, of what was about to happen, considering all of his initiatives had been successful, which he really hoped for. Half of it was from shame. He had, as always, fucked up. He knew it. God knew he did. He mourned it everyday.

His ears were ringing by the time he reached the door, trying to look nonchalant. Frank was standing outside, wearing a black t-shirt that let his inked arms show, even though it was the middle of winter. Gerard smiled and held up one finger, indicating he was busy with the phone call, but made room for Frank to enter. However, as soon as he closed the door, the entire energy in the room shifted, and so did Frank. 

“I - _hummmph_ \- no, just, uh, just put it on my schedule,” Gerard mumbled, nearly dropping the phone when Frank pushed him up forcefully against a wall and held him by the throat. Red bangs fell over his hazel eyes, his face held upwards, and he stared down at Frank, who eyed every inch of skin he had a grip on before leaning forward and tracing a line up with his tongue. “Ask her for my - ah -, for my papers and---”

Frank took the phone from him. “Jane, he’s gonna have to call you back,” he said before tossing the device over onto a bundle of clothes on the floor. “You, shut the fuck up,” he kissed Gerard dead on the mouth, all tongue as his hand tightened, “I’m here to give you what you asked for.”

Frank turned Gerard around and pushed him down so his hands were resting on the buffet by the mini fridge, and grinded up hard and slow against his ass. They both gasped at the feeling, long forgotten, yet so familiar. Gerard could feel Frank hard against him, and his stomach turned around in loops of arousal, his mouth watering to get a taste of him. “Thank you, Frankie,” he huffed out in a shiver, “thank you.”

“Fuck you,” Frank fired back, sliding one hand up Gerard’s spine until he had a handful of his hair grabbed firmly. Gerard arched his shoulder blades and threw his head back. Maybe he had crossed the line a little bit. He kinda hoped he had. “I’ve been thinking about this all day, Gerard, just like you planned,” Frank said, one hand pulling on the red hair, the other one tight on his hip, grinding against him in a rhythm. “I might have missed you, I might be hopelessly in love with you, but you managed to get me really fucking pissed,” he said in a low voice, and it sounded like a promise. 

Gerard couldn’t help but smile, and bit down on his lip to hold back a moan. “Let me make it up to you,” he begged in between heavy breaths. “Let me have a taste of you, please. Please, Frankie, get me on my knees, I need you in my mouth.”

His wish was immediately granted. Gerard was spun back around and (not so) gently pushed to his knees, his back resting against the furniture. He watched as Frank striped out of his shirt and unbuckled his belt, before settling his hands on the furniture, on each side of Gerard’s head. He looked down, his eyes dark, and blinked softly as consent. 

Gerard bit down on his lip and comically imagined his own mouth filling up and drooling as he unbuttoned Frank’s jeans. The sparrows were still there, now surrounded by even more ink, barbed wire that went down and into Frank’s underwear, which Gerard lowered by sliding his hands down Frank’s ass until it was around his thighs. Much to his surprise, as Frank’s cock was set free, Gerard realized there was a tattoo on it, too - a black rose, the petals blossoming up his groin and a thorny stalk down his length. “Fuck,” he whispered, reaching out to touch, but his hand was batted away. 

“Look at me,” Frank ordered, and Gerard looked up at him with huge, dark eyes. Frank held his cock and stroked himself a few times before holding the head to Gerard’s lips, smearing spit and precum on them. “Open.”

A hint of a smile ghosted over Gerard’s face and he opened his mouth, sticking his tongue out a little as he held his own hands behind his back. He knew that was always a pleaser, and damn, he aimed to please this time. He kept his eyes up as Frank slid into his mouth, but he couldn’t help closing his eyelids as he took it in. Frank was thick, hot and salty on his tongue, stretching Gerard’s lips, pushing and pulling on them as he moved in and out. Gerard couldn’t help but moan happily, the vibration getting Frank to twitch and snap forward, hitting the back of his throat in a rude, delicious impulse. 

“Look at me,” Frank said again, and Gerard’s eyes shot back open. He was beautiful, just like that; his arms back, his shirt torn, his red hair tousled and cheeks hollowing as he sucked on Frank’s cock like he was having the time of his life. “You like that don’t ya?” He grumbled and stuck his own tongue out of his mouth, as he fucked Gerard’s, who nodded slightly in response. “You miss my cock. You miss me fucking you like this.”

Once again Gerard hummed in response, daring to take his hands up to Frank’s ass and guide him, his head bobbing and turning slightly as he went down, fuck his god damn knees if he got maimed from the deed. He drove one hand up the colorful skin of Frank’s stomach and chest before dragging it back down and scratching him thoroughly, which got him exactly what he intended. Frank pulled out of his mouth and kneeled in front of him, grabbing his face and smashing their lips together, tasting himself on Gerard’s tongue and hurriedly stripping him of his shirt. Gerard kept stroking his cock as they made out on the floor, and Frank could start praying for all he cared, this was the most perfect he’d felt in so long. “Bed,” Frank said against his lips, “now.”

They stood up and Gerard gingerly opened his own trousers, under Frank’s observant eyes, and stepped out of them, no underwear underneath to hide him further. “You know what I did for you, don’t you, Frankie?” he asked, stepping closer, feeling his man’s hands explore his own pale skin. “Have you been thinking about it?”

“Yes,” he agreed, and couldn’t help but kiss Gerard again, embracing him fully and allowing himself to feel small for a second, his chin tilted up to meet the taller one’s lips. “I’ve thought about it a lot,” he continued between kisses, “about you making yourself ready for me hours ago.” He felt Gerard smile against his lips. “You drive me real crazy, Gee, I’ve been hard for you all day.”

Gerard grunted and kissed him harder, sucking on his tongue as he pushed his hands down. Frank got the hint and grabbed Gerard’s ass, digging his nails hard into his cheeks before running his fingertips over to where skin met cold metal. Frank twisted it and pushed it further in, which made the other man nearly collapse on his arms. “Bed,” he repeated. “On your knees again, baby.”

Gerard obeyed and got onto the bed lazy slow, like a cat, and laid his head on his arms as his knees dug into the soft hotel duvet. Frank felt a shiver that shook him down to the bone, and he hopped on the bed behind Gerard without even taking his pants all the way off. “You are perfect,” he said, tugging on the plug and making Gerard whimper, “you are perfect.”

“I’m yours,” Gerad said, raising his head and looking back. “Now fuck me, Frankie.”

“Hard and angry, because you deserve it,” Frank quoted, but was still very gentle at pulling the plug out. It came out easily, carefully lubed up, and Frank found himself in a position he’d been in so many times, Gerard’s body looking like a sea anemone, tides of lust washing over them as Frank lined himself up to his entrance. It occurred to him that although it might look like he was the one in charge, the truth was he had control over nothing. Gerard had him, as always, wherever and whenever he wanted. Frank slid into him, slow and steady, the ink thorns hiding away, and the air was pushed out of his lungs in one long breath. 

Whenever they switched roles, Frank liked it alright, always holding Gerard close to him and staring him dead in the eyes as he thrusted, and it felt good. But he clearly wasn’t anywhere near the pleasure Gerard took from being stretched and filled like that. Gerard was smiling, literally smiling, his lips sometimes dropping onto an O as he moaned out so loud. But he looked _happy_. He loved it, every push, every time their skin slapped together, and he loved it as Frank picked up a pace and fucked him hard, holding him down so hard his hips would bruise for sure. “There,” he huffed out when the angle got him just the right way, “there, Frankie, oh God, harder, please, _ah_ ,” he mumbled until Frank shushed him with a fierce slap down his ass. 

“Shut up,” Frank said, although he made sure to hit the same spot again relentlessly again and again, both of his hands holding tightly onto Gerard’s hips, his once white skin getting redder by the second. Frank looked down at the sight of his own cock coming in and out of him, his fully tattooed skin against Gerard’s immaculate one, and his orgasm started building really fast on his groin. So he grabbed Gerard’s hair and pulled him back, holding onto his throat with the other hand, and bit down hard on his neck, moaning his name the way he knew it would work just right. “Come for me, baby,” Frank whispered, releasing Gerard’s hair to pump his cock in sync with every thrust. “I wanna make you come, Gerard.”

And well, Frank was also a real bastard, because he too knew exactly what he was gonna get from that, and he did. Gerard reached behind him to hold onto Frank’s neck, making his own available for biting and sucking as he spilled his load all over the tattooed fingers. Frank followed suit, his entire body tingling like he was going to burn down into flames at any second, and came so good he nearly lost conscience for a second. 

Gerard fell onto the bed, spent, and Frank climbed on top of him kissing his way up his thighs, his cock, his stomach, his chest and finally his mouth. They kissed, messy, slow kisses, coming down from their high as their heartbeats got back to normal. And then Frank fell onto the side as well, and they both lied staring at the ceiling, a thick silence between them. 

Even though it had been years, Frank’s words echoed in both of their minds. _You don’t love her, you love the idea of what it would be like if you did._ He wished it hadn’t been true. Gerard wished so too. 

They turned their heads to look at each other at the same time. “Hey,” Frank said. “I liked hard and angry.”

Gerard chuckled. “Yeah, me too.” He took Frank’s hand - the one that wasn’t nasty with his spunk - and held gingerly. “I missed you.”

“So much.” 

“There’s something we need to talk about, though,” Gerard said, his eyebrows raised. He rolled closer to Frank and drove a hand down his body, stopping at his cock, which he held and stroked gently. “Frankie.”

“Not now,” he answered, leaning in to smell Gerard’s bright red hair. “Come on.”

“Yes, now,” Gerard insisted, and ran the tip of his pointy nose up Frank’s before he spoke up again. “Frankie, you have a tattoo on your cock.”

Frank cackled out loud, and held tight onto Gerard for as long as he could.


End file.
